Hold onto your hats, lds & gnlmn, because here begins the fabulous roller-coaster ride that takes us from now until Boxing Day, otherwise known as my weekly flirtation with horse racing journalism, The Saturday Nap.Each Friday evening, or by 11 o'clock on Saturday, there will be some glib observations on the weekend racing programme, usually nominating one horse as the best bet. As with any investment, one must be aware that they can lead one to ruination just as easily as make a fortune. It's best if the money doesn't matter. It doesn't, really, if one is lucky enough to be able to get by while regarding it with some disdain but if one takes part in any sport, you need a scoring system and the year's balance sheet is how I keep score. It's a fine thing if a pastime can show a profit and my fully audited accounts for 2015 so far show mE to be in a healthy position, the best year I've ever had in fact, thank you very much.
So, sustaining the inspirational, empowering message throughout this brash opening to the new period, I am Prince Monolulu this week because 'I Got a Horse'.
We begin this week so that we can start with Emotionless in the Dewhurst Stakes at Newmarket. Paddy is going 5/4 and needs to be knocked over in the rush to get on. It's a time to list all the cliches about putting your betting boots on, steaming in, betting like men and putting the mortgage on. It's time to weigh in on the side of a star who could be anything, for who the sky's the limit and should be backed with utmost confidence until he gets beaten. We need Aidan O'Brien to run Air Force Blue because otherwise Emotionless would be 1/4. The only reason you get a price is because others will put money on the opposition but you have to believe and you have to believe you won't end up like Stan Laurel who eats Ollie's hat in Way Out West. I won't be eating my hat and am confident I won't be expected to.
Mostly, as the Autumn progresses, I'm sure it will be novice hurdlers from big stables that get nominated here. Perhaps a novice chaser and maybe the occasional punt in a handicap but it's odd how the summer flat season kicks up a gear in October with the Arc, Ascot's champions day, these Newmarket meetings and the Breeders' Cup (and I'm glad I checked where to put the apostrophe in that). It's almost as if the Derby, Royal Ascot, Goodwood, York and all were just some support acts for the main event.
But we will be into the genuine sport soon, the winter game of jumping, stamina and durability. Emotionless will be at stud, after a few flashy outings on strips of verdant turf that do no more than undulate a bit, long before this season's new intake of National Hunt horses have made their way towards Gold Cups, Grand Nationals or grey midweek days at Fonrwell Park.
Here we go, then.