Music for the Royal Wedding

I don't know what Ms. Duffy has got prepared for the forthcoming wedding. She's signed up for an interesting 10 years of laureateship, for such a devout leftie, compared to the benign period that Andrew Motion excused himself from ahead of time in timely fashion.

On Radio 5 this evening, there was an interview with someone from Angelsey, that is, I think, Ynys Mon now to the politically specifically correct and they said how proud they were to be giving sanctuary to the royal couple during the build up to the wedding but they did admit there was a growing industry in the sale of tacky tea towels.

And, if you're anything like me, then that only triggers off the theme tune to the old television programme, When the Boat Comes In. And, thus, for better or worse, my poem for the royal wedding was only a matter of time. About 25 minutes, actually.

Music for the Royal Wedding

(to the tune of When the Boat Comes In)

Come, little lassie,

It’ll be no hassle,
You can be the Queen

When I have married you.

You’re nice and leggy,

Like my Great Aunt Peggy

But she drank much more gin

Than you’ll be allowed to.

The plebs get a day off

But there’ll be a pay off

When the tacky tea towels

Go on sale to them.

Your see-through dress, it

Made me interested,

I thought you could be Queen

Once I'd married you.

One thing we ought to

Do is have a daughter

Or a son that Harry

Will then be behind

In the procession

Of the line of succession

That’s why we must marry.

I hope you don’t mind.

Come, little lassie,

It’ll be no hassle,

You can be the Queen

When I have married you.