Christmas TV Review

There was a time that Christmas television required the planning and logistical organisation of a military campaign to accommodate all the highlights and essential programmes.
It is not so now, though, and instead of covering the schedules in rings of biro, one has to scour them in the hope of finding some scrap of entertainment, even if it is only an evening of On the Buses on ITV4.
The obvious choice was always going to be John Hurt in the re-make of Whistle and I'll Come to You on Christmas Eve and it didn't let us down. Sparse dialogue, lots of darkness and minimal cast made it as if re-interpreted by Beckett, especially given Hurt's gaunt look which seemed like a visual inter-textual borrowing from the bleak Irishman. Previews had played down the scariness quotient of this adaptation but it was plenty worrying enough for me, thank you, and Hurt, the English coast in winter and some crescendos of anonymous door-hammering provided a real classic and all one might have hoped for from it.
Somewhat more formulaic was the return to Upstairs Downstairs, now in 1936, with Jean Marsh returning to the house she had run for the previous generation. The comparison was clear. Here the acting was as hammy as the sandwiches and the plot telegraphed well ahead of it happening so that as soon as a character appeared their story wrote itself for them. As the first episode set out the situation, the best moment came when Mrs. Simpson was expected to bring the King to a house party but turned up with Ribbentrop. But the second episode took off into a quite moving and more coherent piece on the rise of Oswald Mosley, blackshirts and fascism in general after the house had taken on a Jewish lecturer as a maid. The final episode perhaps tried to include one more story line than necessary, each being told in a series of set piece scenes, before the baby was born at Christmas, the King abdicated, the reformed servant got his old job back and Lady Percy high-tailed it to Germany so that it all ended as happily ever after as it could have hoped.
So far this year Celebrity Mastermind hasn't produced any moments comparable to Stuart Maconie doing C20th British Poetry or Beverley Knight's heart-warming win over Michael Howard but it's been good to be able to pick the winners with so much horse racing cancelled. I thought Hilary Kay looked a good bet in the first heat and then picked Samira Ahmed to beat Giles Coren, who looked somewhat crestfallen to find he had blown his half-time advantage. It's hardly Mastermind, really, and so one can feel quite know-all about it by getting more answers than the worst of the contestants and you know who that will be because they used to play sport.
On the subject of which, the award for Gormlessly Misplaced Lack of Perspective of the Year went to Radio 5's Breakfast Show, woefully hosted by substitute Ian Payne, when it asked the listeners to vote for the Feel Good Moment of 2010. The shortlist had Ann Widdecombe nominating the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton, Phil Tufnell with the Ryder Cup and Russell Howard with the Chilean Miners. This was supposed to involve a choice. I know Radio 5 is partly a sports channel but this was an appalling bit of misjudgement.
I didn't hear the result but if the golf and the royals got 2% between them then there needs to be an enquiry.